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May 23 2018

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animatedtext:

requested by  rzewzoe

miyajimosachi:

Sex is good and all but have you ever had your hairdresser scratch your scalp during a shampoo with the vigor of an embittered 17th century Puritan washerwoman? Perfection.

2kyla:

I love when this app just closes itself on me like you’re right thank you

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rexuality:

This is the post dramatic thing I’ve ever posted on Facebook

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Actual text conversation with my absolute madman of a brother

constellations-and-energy:

constellations-and-energy:


Brother, out of absolutely nowhere: I put a boogie dollar down

Me: What the fuck does this mean

Him: I think so

Him: Mama’s got the nasty jam

Me: What a completely uninformative answer to my question

Him: This gig gonna slash me hips

HE ASKED HOW LAID BACK I THOUGHT HE WAS AND I SAID TOO FUCKIN LAID BACK AND HE SAID “I KNEW IT” AND SENT ME THIS FUCKING THING

I AM FURIOUS 

May 22 2018

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mijileeillust:

Shiba dog

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thequeenofsunflowers:

wellyfullofale:

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

reblog for next thursday to be the best day of your life

gen-z-culture-is:

Gen z culture is growing up with 90’s technology like vhs and dial up internet and then having a bunch of whiny adults sanctimoniously try to tell you that you can’t remember what it was like to use those things.

inabasket:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

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uzura3026:

twitterに投稿した一つ目シリーズ

bumbleshark:

bumbleshark:

the more time that passes

the dumber spiderman (2002) looks

yall dont believe me huh

bixchcraft:

[lawyer voice] may it please the court

[me as a judge, drinking coffee definitely spiked with whiskey] the court is Never Pleased, but continue, counselor 

juelzsantanabandana:

Me: *passes a blunt to the demon in my house* AHAAA gotcha bitch , that was laced with sage get the fuck out my house

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brokuto-koutarous-mom:

picaso:

picaso:

i am sitting on the couch, i hear tapping on the door behind me, i turn around and see this

what do i do

he is here….

i still lose it every time i see this post because someone let a fucking goose into their house just because tumblr said to and if that doesn’t perfectly define all of our experiences on this shitty excuse for a website i dont know what does  

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