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January 31 2018

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i am unironically so relieved that britney spears turned out ok

Reposted byankin ankin

November 18 2017



people have been illegally dumping their old boats all around abandoned neighborhoods in detroit so this one newscaster on the local news station has been collecting them and finding out who the owners are by looking up the ID numbers on the boats and then she puts them on a flatbed truck and she brings them back to their owners wearing a fucking captain’s hat and she knocks on their doors and goes “hey we found your boat!”






Due to the Assyrian-Greeks’ attempt to destroy the menorah, they caused millions of menorahs to be lit around the world each year from now on instead.

Guys we are seriously so badass. Try to make us stop doing mitzvot? We make a new holiday with a mitzvah reminding us how we kicked your ass. Try to wipe us out? We will make a holiday about how we kicked your ass, make cookies making fun of your terrible taste in headwear, and boo your name from now until the sun blows up. We are awesomeness.

*walks under the ARch of Titus* HEY, WE’RE STILL HERE 3 GENOCIDES LATER

OK sorry I am interrupting this post now

Three weeks ago today I went on a trip to Poland for Holocaust studies. One of the first things we were told was this story.

After the Shoah, the Ponevezher Rav went to Rome to try to collect funds for his yeshiva. He left the airport, found his talmid who he was staying with, and as they got into the taxi, he said “We need to go to the Arch of Titus” (or, well, he said that in Yiddish). The talmid was incredulous: “Rebbe, it’s midnight, it’s pouring with rain, come to your rooms! Why do you need to see this Arch, anyway?” But the rabbi was insistent, so the talmid gave in. They arrived, and the rebbe got out of the taxi, looked at the Arch – this frail old man next to a towering 15 metre (~50ft) stone arch, and one to the triumphs of the Emperor Titus, no less, the man who led the siege against Jerusalem which culminated in the churban, the destruction of the Second Temple which we still mourn on Tisha B'Av.

He got out of the taxi, and roared at the top of his lungs into the night. 


Titus, Titus! Where are you? For I am here

When we stood at the crematoria at Auschwitz, that’s what the rabbi did. he tipped back his head, and he screamedHitler, Hitler! Where are you? Because we are here.

(please forgive any Yiddish errors – though do send me corrections – this is a write-up of notes from one verbal story of many at an understandably emotional time)

November 17 2017



A team of time travelers realize that they can’t change history because the universe will always course correct. As such, they decided to mess with the past to see how far the universe will go to set things right.




your bed is probably as happy to see you as you are to see it. ‘here comes the warmth slab’ it thinks

wrong it thinks “god hope this dipshit doesnt spill beans all over me again who tf eats beans in bed”

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fellas is it gay to be christian?


i mean his name isssss je”sus”….

November 16 2017



I hate the word “discourse” it just sounds like Goofy saying “discuss”

this post literally ruined my life


nothing better than hanging out w a cat….. love those triangle ears……….. love thos meows…. the mrows….. the mews, if you will,


i’ve heard a lot of stories about writers that i love but i think my favorite one is that the dragon age writers called the game world “thedas” because it was originally short for “the dragon age setting” and then they just didn’t change it

November 12 2017






terfs dont target trans men the same as trans women because they view us as “lost womyn” and “confused butches” so their goal is to save us. the goal for trans women? to kill them. do you see the difference??

trans women are real women reblog to make a trans woman feel safe

trans women are real
women reblog to make a
trans woman feel safe

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!
trans women are real
women reblog to make a
trans woman feel safe

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!

im so glad this is so important to haiku bot that they did it twice what a mood

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When someone overextends and then spams I need healing when they die

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They both play for the Clarkson Cup winning Canadiennes de Montreal (saw them play a couple of times last year). Congrats to them both!

November 11 2017


King Dice: how’d you get in here in the first place aren’t you like 9?

Cuphead: I’m 11 so shut the fuck up

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the hero we all needed but never deserved



I accidentally came out to my parents after my surgery

Basically the nurse has to ask you who you are, standard procedure yeah?
Except I answered “I’m lesbian”

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November 08 2017

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Reposted bypati2k6 pati2k6
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I can’t fucking breathe the girl in front of me just opened her email and that was the only thing in it

Reposted bypati2k6 pati2k6
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